Moral of the Story

So, you know how you try to instill good values in your kids?
In our house, the more sophisticated stuff is a bit beyond our grasp at the moment. But we're constantly working away on the basics of civility: be kind, be fair, take turns, share, say please and thank you, tell the truth, be a gracious winner and a good loser.
I'm thinking that the truth-telling aspect of this is not taking so well with Jesse.
He, Seth and I were sitting in their favorite fancy pizza place the other night (Dean's, where the wait staff brings thin-crust pizzas on big silver trays) when Jesse asked,"Do you think the boss here makes a lot of money? I mean, look at all these people!"
Indeed, the joint was packed with Upper West Side families, all chowing down on the yummy pizza and family-sized salads.
"I have no idea, Jess," I replied.
"Well, I'm going to sue this place," he said.
"For what?" I asked.
Jesse: "For throwing pizza at me."
Me: "But no one threw pizza at you."
Jesse, grinning: "I'm going to cover myself with pizza sauce, then call the cops.It's a trick."
Me: "Umm, but it's not true."
Jesse, grinning even more widely: "I know."
Me, trying to decide whether to pinch my child, scold him for thinking dishonestly, or try to explain the depth of the problems associated with frivolous lawsuits: "No one will believe you."
Jesse: "Why not? Would you tell them I was tricking them?"
Me: "I might, if you tried to be so dishonest. And you'd never be able to come to Dean's for pizza again."
Jesse: "No more Dean's? Okay, I'm not suing."

Discovering Tuna Fish

Sadly, my kids are picky eaters. I'm fairly sure it's a genetic trait, passed on by my husband--who douses everything with hot sauce and has a repertoire of about 15 foods that he'll eat.

Many of them are carb-laden: bagels, rolls, baguettes, pizza.

You get the drift.

So Mick called me at work the other day with some exciting news:

"You'll never guess what Seth and Kyle ate for lunch today."

"Okay, big guy, shock me," I replied.

"Tuna fish!"

The mind reeled.

Previously, my children have recoiled in horror at the very sight of canned tuna (though Kyle did go through a brief but obsessive toddler stint of eating sushi).

Ah, but this was special tuna.

$9.99 a can tuna from Spain, packed in extra virgin olive oil.

The boys went tuna-wild, chomping down two whole cans of the pricey seafood on toast points and begging for more.

So, the good news is that tuna is now on our menu regularly.

The bad? It's the priciest tuna in town.

What Seth Wants

All my boys clamor for toys, food, vacations and anything else they see on TV or pick up in the kid pop culture air...all the time.

But Seth always has a running list in his head of items he desperately desires. Sometimes, it's like the universe just pours itself into his little brain, and then pops back out with no filter.

This week alone, he's asked for:

*A car he can drive, though he'll settle for a motorcyle

*The Tommy 20 Nerf gun

*A pizza party for his entire class

*Surfing lessons

*Pokemon cards

*A shirt like Tony Hawk's

*A skateboard (like Tony Hawk's, presumably)

*A fish

*A frog

*A pet mouse or rat

*A very small dog that would sleep with him; he would name it Woofie

*Sword-fighting lessons

*Army lessons

*A new Beanie Baby

And I'm sure there's more.